Over the course of the past two weeks (from March 5th thru March 15th) Sirius / XM’s Channel 30 counted down what they determined to be The Top 1000 Classic Rock Songs Of All-Time.
As we’ve discussed here many times before, lists like these are designed to breed controversy … especially when no particular source for this ranking has ever been divulged or described … making it more of a “these are MY favorites” (or, in this case, OUR favorites) or “I think these songs should belong” kind of list rather than any type of scientific ranking by a specific criteria. (Since a lot of this material is available on album only, it would be virtually impossible to rank the tracks by chart performance. Things like copies sold or downloaded … or, perhaps more importantly in this case, airplay … sure would help in determining a more mathematical listing … but none of that seems to be the case here.)
So, since it’s an arbitrary list at best … compiled by an unknown number of sources … it really plays a lot more like a “these are my favorites” list than ANYTHING that remotely makes sense based on the reality of Classic Rock Radio. (As in traditional Oldies Radio, these are the songs that WE'VE determined you should like ... regardless of how any of you out there actually listening may feel.)
Now I have been listening to Classic Rock Radio for as long as it has existed … and I was also there at the time when virtually ALL of this music was being newly released as brand new tracks … LONG before the concept of Classic Rock Radio ever even crossed a program director’s mind.
As such, I have got to tell you that I have been QUITE surprised by a good number of these entries that made this Top 1000 List as I don’t know that they would have made my Top 5000 List!
In fact, after listening for the majority of the ten days that this feature aired (and writing down as many titles and artists as I could in that timeframe) I can only speculate that, at the very best, they’ve seem to have gotten this list about HALF right. (I've listened to Classic Rock my whole life and didn't even recognize some of their Top 1000 "besties"!!!)
And some of the results are simply flat out ridiculous.
Some cases in point:
To have Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Town" finish in The Top 30 but not have "Purple Haze" even make The Top 100 has been enough to make me motivated to come up with our OWN list of Classic Rock Favorites.
In fact, while we’re on the subject of The Prince Of Darkness, in what universe do Ozzy Osbourne and/or Black Sabbath deserve 16 of The Top 1000 ranked songs?!?!
Seriously!?!? (Siriusly???)
I can think of two … maybe three songs that should have made this list … but 16?!?!? (Do you suppose that the fact that Sirius / XM also offers an Ozzy Osbourne Channel might have something to do with it???) Which throws ALL credibility out as far as I’m concerned.
Ozzy Osbourne claims 16 spots while Classic Rock staples like The Eagles, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Journey, Jimi Hendrix, Queen, The Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan, Heart, Santana and The Steve Miller Band all fall far behind him. (How many Ozzy songs have YOU heard in the past two weeks? Two months? Two years??? I'm sorry but he is hardly the Poster Child of Classic Rock Radio!!!)
And it’s not just an issue like this that throws the whole list out of kilter …
It’s things like “Life In The Fast Lane” coming in at #164 … BEHIND “I Don’t Know” and “Flying High Again” by Ozzy Osbourne (What!?!?!? Can anybody even sing a line from either one of these tunes?), “Have A Drink On Me” by AC/DC (now granted, they play a TON of AC/DC on Classic Rock Radio … but is THIS one of the ones that immediately comes to mind for you???) and “Photograph” by Ringo Starr (#102) … I’m sorry, but this makes absolutely NO sense to me.
I have heard “Life In The Fast Lane” EVERY SINGLE DAY since it first came out in 1977 … that’s 42 years of airplay of AT LEAST once per day … or over 15,000 times that I personally have heard them play this song on the radio!!! And it comes in at #164 … behind “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath (#48 … which is just one spot below The Beatles’ “Let It Be”!!!) and “Synchronicity” by The Police (#110)
And speaking of saturated airplay, several years ago we named John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Jack And Diane” as “the most over-played song on the radio” … and it was at the time … It got to the point where I ended up turning it off EVERY time it came on ... because radio RUINED the experience of hearing it for me.
So where does “Jack And Diane” place on the Classic Rock's Greatest Hits list?
#419 … right behind “The Zoo” by The Scorpions. (Say what?!?!) And “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC (#397 … how many times have you heard that one, comparatively speaking, in the past twenty years???) … and “No More Tears” by Ozzy Osbourne. Are you starting to pick up on a trend here??? (Mellencamp placed twelve songs on the Top 1000 List … “Hurts So Good” placed even lower than “Jack And Diane” at #728 … but BOTH of these non-stop airplay rock classics finished lower on the countdown than “I Need A Lover” (#367), which also charted for Pat Benatar, who earned TEN spots in The Top 1000.
My favorite AC/DC song (which I also hear every single day), “You Shook Me All Night Long” came in at #348 … behind OTHER AC/DC “classics” like “Rock And Roll Noise Pollution” and “Girls Got Rhythm.” (Betcha those are the first ones to cross YOUR minds!!!)
Simply put … this list is ALL fucked up!!!
Now that’s not to say that most of these songs don’t belong here somewhere … (although I’d be willing to bet you we could eliminate close to a third of them without hardly even trying) … they just don’t belong in the places they fall. (“Stairway To Heaven” came in at #1, exactly as we expected. I figured “Hotel California” would be right up there at the top … it came in at #8 … behind “Sympathy For The Devil” and “A Day In The Life” … and that’s just wrong! “Sweet Home Alabama” placed even lower than that (#13) while Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” came in at #16. I don’t know that I can think of four better examples of Classic Rock Radio today than these … and, quite honestly, you don’t even hear “Stairway To Heaven” all that much anymore because listeners have OD’d on it. “Kashmir” seems to have become the Zeppelin song of choice lately … and it’s way down at #112!)
“Who Are You” by The Who seems to get played several times a day … yet it is ranked #101 … behind Who songs like “Behind Blue Eyes” (#25) and “Love Reign Over Me” (#67). And how the heck does “Magic Carpet Ride” rank higher than “Born To Be Wild” on ANY rock list?
Speaking of which, “Africa” didn’t make the list at all!!! Another one of the most-played songs of the past 35 years, it didn’t even make the cut on the Sirius / XM Classic Rock Top 1000 Countdown. (Toto earned one entry, for “Hold The Line,” which came in at #279 … understandable, I guess, since you NEVER hear this one as much as some of those Ozzy tunes!!!)
Analytically speaking, in most cases this list isn’t even close to Classic Rock Reality … and we need to fix it!
More examples: “Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Heartbreaker” by The Rolling Stones came in at #131 … ahead of Stones classics like “Under My Thumb” (#200), “Let’s Spend The Night Together” (#274), “Get Off My Cloud” (#228), “Time Is On My Side” (#332) and “Start Me Up” (#381 – WHAT?!?! That just may be one of the Greatest Classic Rock Songs of All-Time!!! Is there ANY opening riff that gets you going like this one does?)
Maybe “Brown Sugar” is more your thing?
That one came in at #108 … right behind AC/DC’s “Shoot To Thrill” … yep, THAT’S a classic “go to” rocker for sure!!! (For the record “Satisfaction” came in at #73 … and The Stones placed 36 songs on the list … more than any other artist.)
And that’s another thing … the artists with the most songs are, most often, the ones you would expect to see near the top of the list: The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Who, Led Zeppelin, Tom Petty, Bob Seger, The Doors, The Eagles, Pink Floyd, David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac … but then how do you explain Van Halen coming in at #5 with 25 tracks … or CCR at #7 with 17 … or Bat Head-biting Ozzy Osbourne at #9 with 16??? (Don’t get me wrong … I’ve been a Creedence fan since Day One … but these guys do NOT belong in the Top Ten List of Greatest Classic Rock Artists ahead of The Doors, David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Fleetwood Mac, Bruce Springsteen, Eric Clapton, Journey, Aerosmith. Crosby, Stills, Nash And Young, Jimi Hendrix and Queen.)
Rush has SEVEN entries on the list … now I’ve never been much of a Rush fan … and I will concede that maybe four of these songs deserve a spot … but once again, how much Rush do you hear on the radio today on any regular basis? (I guarantee you that if you ask a Rush fan, they’ll tell you “nowhere near enough” … but can any other Classic Rock Music Fan … or even casual Rush fan … even name seven of their songs???)
Clearly, I’m upset … clearly I think this list is a bogus, worthless piece of crap with absolutely NO regard for the reality of what makes Classic Rock Radio Great. Clearly, I feel like I’ve wasted over a hundred hours listening to this shit and this is time I can never get back.
But, luckily for you, I am ALSO feeling REALLY inspired … enough to put the challenge out there to all of our readers …
Because I know that YOU GUYS can help us put together the ULTIMATE LIST of CLASSIC ROCK SONGS that should define an ultimate play list to last for all time. (Or at least until another generation of classic rock songs become old enough to make the cut somewhere down the line.)
So how about this …
A list of The Top 3333 Classic Rock Songs. (Get It??? 33 1/3 … since Classic Rock is the very definition of Album Rock, which took over the airwaves in a VERY big way in the ‘70’s and has grown thru every generation since as more and more folks are discovering this great, timeless music.)
Start submitting your votes and nominations now … let’s see what songs YOU guys think belong on the list. Ideally, we’d like to get up to around 5000 viable candidates … and then have you do a final vote on those in order to narrow the list down to the final Top 3333 that will act as our official Classic Rock Songs Countdown. (We’re also looking for a radio partner to help us countdown the winners!)
Speaking of which, we’re going to open this forum up to EVERY Classic Rock Radio Station out there … poll your listeners and have them send in their votes and nominees … let’s get the best cross-representation we can of Rockin’ America. (At least OUR list will be based on something … and reflect the opinions of The Classic Rock Nation!!!)
Please … contact your favorite local Classic Rock Radio Stations and ask them to get in on the action …
Announce our poll on the air and tell their listeners how to cast their votes. Make it personal ... promote it as YOUR station taking part in a nationwide poll trying to determine The Top 3333 Greatest Classic Rock Songs of All-Time. Let’s get the largest representation possible to come up with the ultimate list of Classic Rock Favorites … as voted on by the FANS (and not a couple of guys holed up in a room for the weekend pulling candidates out of thin air.)
To help accomplish this, we’ve even set up a brand new email address to accumulate the votes. So send your nominations to: classicrockvote@yahoo.com … and let’s see where this latest Forgotten Hits Poll takes us.
To help inspire you, we’ll run suggestions along the way over the next several months … and then, when we’ve got a viable list to work from, we’ll officially open the polls, tell you who the final candidates are and let the REAL voting begin. Who knows … before the end of the year we just may have our own VERY Special Countdown to reveal.
Here’s hoping to hear from each and every one of you! (kk)
